A cruise liner that capsized last week has lead to a whole week of sinking ship related metaphors, in other news, Gove suggests we buy the Queen a yacht for her diamond jubilee. (Apply sinking ship metaphor here).
Balls tells us how much he loves Tory cuts. Meanwhile, north of the border, a Hitler SNP spoof
ends the career of Labour MP Tom Harris.Tuesday 17th:
Butthurt Unions say Ed Milliband is a rubbish leader for agreeing with Tory cuts. Huhne was said to have leaked the letter about the Queen's Yacht. (Apply sinking ship metaphor here).
Boris will urge
the new leader of Westminster council to stop their tax on night life, the greedy bastards.Wednesday 18th:
Argentina 'guilty of Falklands colonialism' says Cameron, as we travel back to the 80's.Thursday 19th:
Peacocks goes into administration, putting an end to hilarious 'cocks' photos. Ken takes lead over Boris in the race for Mayor, we fully expect a fight to the death on a tower block no where near you.
Council related drama as half of complaints come from London councils, mostly run by Labour, their excuse? 'the Libs/Tories messed it up', right behind your backs, I imagine, how crafty, our government is run by ninjas.
St. Paul's camping protestors, situated next to Starbucks, for anti cpitalism say they will take their case to the ECHR, in hopes to develope a new law in which they can camp anywhere they feel like as long as there is a Starbucks close by, 'cause damn that fair trade coffee is good.
Cameron says Labour are horrible, Milliband is not having a good week. Co-operative is the new popular capitalism!Friday 20th:
Scottish referendum may end up not even being legal, Salmond will have to march south and slay some dragons. The Sunday Times doesn't want to hand over e-mails between Huhne and his ex-wife to the courts, after all, it could be worth something on ebay in a few years. They eventually back down, and Huhne could face a cover up charge. Vicky Pryce is finally getting the career destroying revenge she promised us last year.
Internet pirates take down a bunch of websites over immense butthurt about a pirating website being taken down, and are now threatning the FBI, stay tuned for pirates vs ninjas.
Oxford Street's old victorian water pipes burst, tearing up the roads and flooding the street, making it a less than ideal holiday destination for tent city protestors.
Ken reveales his plan to take over suburban rail systems after slashing fares, leaving out the part where he will raise council tax and congestion zone charges.
Dale Farm: The Return.What happened on the weekend.